"What really is best?"

What really is best?

You hear it all the time – “breast is best.” There’s a major push in our country to
break away from synthetic baby formula and move to an all-nursing nation. States
even pushing to ban formula sample bags to new moms at hospitals. Breast is best,
didn’t you know?

That’s great – unless you just don’t want to breastfeed.

I’m not going to throw another hand grenade into the raging Mommy Wars. All I
am aiming to do is to explain why I chose to give my baby formula and did not even
attempt to breastfeed her.

Wait – I CHOSE to formula feed?

Yes, you are correct. I chose it.

When weighing the pros and cons to breastfeeding, I went back and forth a lot.
Even leading up to my stay in the hospital, I had not completely decided. I knew
that breastfeeding was good for my baby. The antibodies that reside in breast milk.
The bonding that takes place between a nursing child and a mother. I knew it. I
researched it.

But there was one big thing always weighing in the back of my mind – I am a
working mom.

I had to go back to work just six weeks after Brooke Allen was born. I knew that in
order to keep up breastfeeding past the six-week mark, I would have to worry about
pumping during work and after every feeding to make sure I had enough for her to
eat while I was gone. What if my body didn’t react well to breastfeeding or to the
pump? What if I couldn’t sustain enough supply for her? When will I find time to
do all this, plus keep my mind on work, taking care of my husband, home, and new
baby? My husband works nights – I wouldn’t have an extra pair of hands to help
while I was in the middle of a pumping session.

So I decided the day before I went into the hospital for my induction. Breastfeeding
just wasn’t for us. I was going to feed Brooke Allen formula.

I am one of the lucky ones who didn’t receive any pushback from my hospital. They
asked me, “Breast or bottle?” I replied, “Bottle,” and she checked it off on her list
and asked which formula I preferred.

Unfortunately, so many friends of mine have felt judged for their decision to formula
feed. Some even going so far as to lie to say that they were actually breastfeeding.
There was a shame that they felt that they were unable to breastfeed. Their bodies
didn’t respond to it or their babies had a poor reaction to it.

I hear on a daily basis the amount of trouble, worry, and heartache that some
mothers go through to breastfeed their child. They feel judgment also from
outsiders – Wouldn’t it be easier just to formula feed? Please don’t breastfeed in
public. Can’t you do that in the car? For some mothers, it’s worth it. Some have
done it for so long that they are afraid to quit. They are afraid that they have “failed”
in some way.

I put that in quotations because no one is ever failing by feeding their child to a
sufficient level. Whether it’s breast milk or formula, it is still nutrition to your baby.
Your baby is growing and thriving. Short of feeding your baby Dairy Queen, you are
doing ok by just actually feeding your baby.

The idea that breastfed babies are smarter or healthier is a myth. You are doing
your baby no disservice by giving formula. Sure, there is the added cost. That part
is not fun. There may be bottles to wash, or the worry that you’ve actually brought
enough a long on an outing.

But the best part is that at night, when I come home from work, I can play with
my baby instead of trying to wash pump parts and trying to pump enough for the
sitter the next day. To me, that time spent with my daughter is more precious
than a few ounces of breast milk. We have a beautiful bond that didn’t occur from
breastfeeding. It came from the simple fact that I am her mommy, and I give her
what she needs.

So breast may be best for some. But not for us.

Katie

Mom since 3/20/12