Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Balance


I feel like I’ve always been busy.  Working full time, trying to be a wife, having a social life always was plenty to keep me busy.  Then I had a baby.  NOW I realize what busy is. 
In the past few weeks I feel like I’ve really been struggling with balancing everything.   I’m back to working full time, going back to get my Master’s in Education, and raising a beautiful 7 month old baby.  Add that to the day in and day out world of cleaning, cooking, laundry, etc. and I’ve had many moments where I just want to quit everything for a while.   My fear in going back to work was never leaving my child (I love my daycare!), it was always, “How am I going to balance everything?”  I still don’t have an answer to that, but in the past few crazy stressful weeks I’ve realized a few important things. 

Here is my list of learning to balance:

1.      Have a good sounding board.   Whether it is your husband, your own mom, your best friend, or a group of internet friends it is important to have a person (or a bunch of people) to talk to.   Some days I need to vent.  Some days I need to cry.  Some days I need to laugh at myself.   Having a good support system is important.

2.     Learn to say no.   You are not super woman, no matter how hard you try, so quit acting like it.  Delegate things to others, and don’t bite off more than you can chew.  Sometimes you can’t sign up for an extra committee at work or offer to help a friend move, but it will be  okay.  Life goes on even after you say no to something.

3.     Ask for help.    Pushing yourself to exhaustion is no good for you or your family.  Ask your husband to help around the house.  Ask your family if you need a babysitter so you can get work done.  Ask friends if they mind helping you out with some project you have.  It does not make you weak.  Ask for help.

4.     Don’t sweat the small stuff.  Your house is going to get dusty.  Clothes may sit in the basket all week long.  Your desk at work may be piled up.  It is okay.  Your children are going to grow up too fast as it is, and they will not remember the dusty picture frames and wrinkly towels!

5.     Make time for yourself.    The first thing that gets forgotten in the daily shuffle is you.  We all face that guilt of leaving the family and responsibilities to do something for ourselves.   It has to be done.  Get out alone and go to the store, get a pedicure, go to lunch with a friend.   Enjoy yourself and let go of the guilt.

6.     Take time every day to sit and play.   Shut off your phone, the computer, and even your brain and sit on the floor to play with your child.   I don’t care if it is for 10 minutes or an hour.   Life is busy, but everything will wait…except your child.  They don’t wait to grow; they are only the age they are right now for today.  

I’m learning.  I have to re-read this list and remind myself daily that I will make it.   I constantly think of the lyrics, “It won’t be like this for long” and realize that it won’t.   I can’t freeze time, but I can make myself slow down and enjoy the crazy ride!

 ~ Jacklyn
{Mom to Annabelle since 03/07/12}

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